Spring is a time of new growth, renewed energy and optimism for warmer, longer days, and for me, also a time for reflection. I have a Spring birthday and at this time of year am more inclined to reflect on the past 12 months than at Hogmanay. I like to remember how good it felt to celebrate achievements, and also to recognise where things could have gone better, in order to build on personal and professional accomplishments.
Tête à tête daffodils, crocuses and hyacinths have suddenly appeared in my garden and I smile when I see their bright yellow trumpets of joy. The days are longer, the air is softer, and even on cold days, hope increases as we move gently but certainly through the season. On Monday night, Aurora Borealis was visible from my loft window. Red and green glittery lights were dancing, in a gap between the church and Victorian sandstone houses. Added to this, was the thrill of sharing such a magical moment with someone special.
Of course, it is inevitable that regardless of the time of year, many people will experience loss through the death of a loved one, family member or close friend. Since February 2022, I have been working with North Berwick Compassionate Community project, participating in, raising awareness of and promoting EASE (End of Life Aid Skills for Everyone). My death literacy has significantly increased and I am more confident when speaking to, or listening to those who have lost someone, or who are supporting a friend or family member.
I have also started to think ahead about what I would like to happen when my time comes. I do not find this morbid in any way. In fact it is refreshing and reassuring to know that I can influence how my life is celebrated when I die, which I hope won’t be until I am at least 97 years old! You can find out more about EASE here, and a list of recommended reading will be at the end of this blog.
Another excellent Scottish website is called Pushing Up the Daisies which provides useful and practical information about what you can do, plan for, and expect when death is close or happens unexpectedly. Did you know, for example, that you do not need to pay the exorbitant fees of a funeral parlour? And, with permission from a local authority, you can be interred anywhere?
I recently listened to the Gentle Art Of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnusson, on Audible which is read by Juliet Stevenson who has a soft, sensitive and soothing voice. We shouldn't be afraid of making our wishes heard and owe it to our families to slowly de-clutter as we get older. I know I have boxes of old photos which I intend to sort and put in albums, so my daughters can enjoy them without having to sort through them when I die. As for my countless notebooks and journals, some need a re-read and then will probably be destroyed, because those experiences are mine alone. Aside from a few which will make it into my book, finding them might cause pain, hurt and confusion for surviving members of my family
These things will all happen in good time, but today, I am fit, healthy and well and have taken full advantage of this beautiful day to walk on the beach, cut the grass, and relish the sights, sounds and smells of my local environs.
If you want to arrange a coaching conversation - your first Discovery Discussion is free - or find out more about EASE, get in touch:
charliprime@gmail.com
07477 017717
Have a wonderful weekend.
The iconic Bass Rock.
Recommended Reading:
Ruth Scott - Between Living and Dying
Kathryn Mannix - With the End in Mind
Kathryn Mannix - Listen
Kathryn Mannix has also made numerous Youtube videos
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