Why do some friends stay and others drift along the way? I’m reminded of this poem about friends being with us for reasons seasons or a lifetime by an unknown author:
Most of my friendships have survived enforced time apart, either physically, emotionally or both because life got busy, grief became overwhelming, or work and travel meant that the friendship wasn’t as proactive or effective as it had been. But when the time was right, these special friends reappeared, tentatively perhaps, but safe in the knowledge that something good had been shared between us, and so it was worth picking up where we had left off.
Later this year my mother and one of her oldest friends, my godmother, will be reunited as they join to celebrate turning 80 years old. They have both experienced profound loss, and personal challenges, but remain positive, upbeat and excited about sharing this milestone together. During this celebration I will be reconnecting with a friend who is more like a cousin, or even a sister, and who I visited earlier this year in her finca (ranch) in Spain. Francesca and I hadn’t been in touch for decades and yet when we were sitting in her car for the 1.5hour journey from Malaga to her home in the hills, it was as if the time apart had been moments not years.
Of course there are some friendships which do not withstand the test of time, but fond memories of why we had migrated towards each other can be a source for celebration not sadness.
July 30th is National Friendship Day and for me that means being grateful for all the amazing women, and men, who I count as friends: from schooldays, university, work, parenthood, shared interests and physical proximity. I am sincerely grateful for the friends I have and value time with them, whether it’s a phone call, video chat, personal visit or through the social media platforms. We show up for each other, because we reciprocate a connection filled with empathy, trust and respect. Having friend like this adds value to life.
Earlier this week, on Facebook, I noticed a plea for companionship from a newcomer to the area, and was pleased to see there had been a robust response, with meetings already set up.
Being lonely is a significant factor in driving poor mental health, and often results in an early death. Whether you offer a helping hand to a neighbour or stop and talk to someone who looks lonely, showing kindness and establishing a connection, however brief, can make a huge difference to the lives of others.
Monday 24th July is Samaritans Awareness Day. If you are feeling lonely and need to talk, please give them a call, because you are not alone in feeling out of kilter, possibly fearful of the current political and environmental climate or worried about your health. The saying a problem shared is a problem halved is true.
You can call Samaritans here: Samaritans 116123
For other mental health concerns, ask your GP social prescription. There are some excellent organisations locally, like Keep the Heid Cafe, and nationally such as Andy’s Man Club, Sporting Memories, Mens Sheds.
For anyone with chronic poor mental health, or those who are suffering grief and bereavement, it is essential to seek medical attention through your GP; Mind; Cruse Bereavement; NHS Inform phone 111.
I hope you find friendship and moments of joy in the coming days.
Coaching with me can keep you on track as you continue on your well-being journey.
**SPECIAL OFFER** is extended to all those who work with young people in schools and community settings - 3 sessions for £150, a massive saving of £135.
Please get in touch, before * SPECIAL OFFER** finishes on 30th September.
You can find me here: www.catchinglightwellness.co.uk; Twitter @CLW, LinkedIn @CharliPrime, Instagram @catching_light_wellness.
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