Wellness Matters It's Really Ok to NOT be OK! 12.09.2022
- Charli
- Sep 12, 2022
- 3 min read
I had hoped to be on Mull last week, but prior commitments and obligations couldn’t be changed, accommodation was surprisingly difficult to find and I just ‘wasn’t feeling it’. So instead I have made good use of any spare time I had reading, and in particular Robert Galbraith’s 6th Cormoran Strike novel, The Ink Black Heart. It’s brilliant. No spoilers here - read it yourself.
Wee dug and I have found our happy place as we have edged back into our home, holiday bookings having dried up. The weather was pretty grim but on Wednesday during a 24 hour period where the sun made a welcome return, we drove to Cove via Zero Waste in Dunbar.
I found what I was looking for among the discarded and abandoned nik naks and furniture, as I often do. As I was being helped to load the cabinet into my car, one of the heavy shelf doors opened and closed on 2 of my fingers - in fact my sweary fingers, on my right hand. I was VERY brave, didn’t swear, and reassuring the assistant that I would be fine, got back into my car, heading south to Cove. The sun was shining, the radio was on and quite unexpectedly when Odyssey’s If You’re Looking For A Way Out started playing, I burst into tears. Good old fashioned, snot inducing tears. I let them flow because I needed a damn good cry.
Previously in the week I watched Lainey Molnar’s video where she describes how it’s ok to not be feeling great, and we don't have to apportion blame on anyone or anything. It’s life, it’s emotions, it's all perfectly normal. The fact that my ‘f**k off’ fingers were throbbing and a sinister blood blister was starting to form, gave me full permission to howl in my car.
Arriving in Cove, the sun was bright blue and the sunflower I carried added an excellent contrast to the moment. Blackberries were bursting with goodness and clearly eager to be picked, the sweetness being just what was required to soften my mood. I noted some sloes growing nearby too, and plan to return towards the end of September to harvest those for my utterly delicious sloe vodka.
There was a family on the beach and a resident sitting in the sun. I felt a wee bit self conscious - I carry paranoia like a shield - but continued with my intention which was to throw the sunflower into the tidal flow. Having taken some photos, I threw my memories into the wind and took a moment to chill n still. The tide was on the turn and heading towards shore so the sunflower inevitably would reach the beach before long, which would have caused Emz to smirk.
There had been a thought to go for a swim on the way home, but the weather turned again, there was a tailback at roadworks beside Thorntonloch, so I abandoned that idea safe in the knowledge that joy would be guaranteed at choir that evening.
I wasn’t sure whether to post this blog on Friday, the weekend has passed in a flurry of socialising, walking and swimming, and I hope it fits with the mood of the nation just now. Regardless of your thoughts on royalty, Queen Elizabeth II has been the one constant presence through years of turmoil, strikes, terrorism, extreme weathers, and most recently political mayhem.
Wellness matters, so take a moment to consider where your values align with service, dignity, respect, love and duty. I’m certainly going to reflect on where I might have applied myself more effectively in the past, learn from that and carry it forward.
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