Reflections
I thought I was all reflected out, but as it transpires, after an incredible sleep last night, and brisk, exhilarating walk on the beach this morning, my memories have been stirred to this time last year.
Wide eyed I was, like a hopeful puppy, wagging its tail having no clue what to do.
In fact the analogy is more akin to my Border Terrier, Jilly, who I rescued from a life of breeding and rat catching in March 2018. You will see in the first photo below a terrified wee dog, resting on my kitchen floor, having been on a car journey for probably the first time, and who jumped at the fridge reverberating, such was her fear of the unknown.
She had never lived indoors, been on a lead or separated from her canine family. She was highly motivated by rabbits, squirrels and rats, and still has to be watched when they are in view. Since then, and with patience, consistency and perseverance, she will (mostly) come when I call, she is comfortable on a lead, she has stayed in a variety of homes: on holiday, with my partner or a friend and other family members, and trusts that she will be warm, safe, well fed and adored.
She has been my constant companion through periods of change and challenge these past 4 ¾ years and we have continued to grow in confidence and trust for each other. The 2nd photo is testament to this.
In March 2020 I did not know that I was going to leave the security of a well paid job, after 30 years in education, to strike out on my own. I knew I was restless, I knew I was exhausted by convention, other people’s to-do lists, and a top-down-authoritarian-finger-pointing-blame-shame culture, but until the pandemic hit, I thought that ‘that too would pass’.
It did - but not in a way I had planned.
You know the rest - or can read it in previous blogs - and here I am, 13 months after leaving that well paid, but demanding role:
with a successful business,
planning a website relaunch
still welcoming new clients
creating a resource which has sparked interest from 2 organisations
feeling my creative juices flow like never before.
In spite of working alone, I have never felt so included thanks to amazing online communities on Twitter (@WomenEdScotland); Linkedin (too numerous to mention, but Michelle Brand, Rachael Wall and Wendy Forrester stand out as key contacts) and EMCC (Scottish Network and Knowledge Exchange).
My Facebook friends deserve a mention too, because you have been a source of positive support for my blogs for a number of years, and this has motivated me to continue to write. In particular I’d like to mention Richard Cutler, Viv Donaldson and Natalie Garry.
When I meet family and friends they comment that I am glowing, lighter, calmer and relaxed.
Catching light of course, is synonymous with all that I have set out to do and this affirmation resonated profoundly after a Psych-K session with Rachael Wall in October:
I can feel the sunshine even when the clouds are overhead.
Including positive words of affirmation every morning when I write my journal has helped me to lean more deeply into believing that I created the change I wanted to see in myself.
I speak my personal truth with love, passion and commitment.
I learn from my fears as they take me to wisdom and power.
I am worthy of the best that life and love have to offer.
I am my own best friend.
As 2021 reaches its conclusion, I send you all a catching light moment filled with hope that 2022 is kind, peaceful and provides moments of fulfillment for you all.
Warmest wishes
Charli
Jilly March 2018
Jilly December 2021
Find your CatchingLight moment in 2022.
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