While walking on the beach, chatting to my dear friend, Jo, we covered the topic of ageing and in particular our individual desires to age well. As we talked, we acknowledged certain tell-tale signs that our bodies are not as strong as they used to be, and we need to rest and recover more often than even 10 years ago. Feeling a little under par, and low on energy, Jo has now made time for herself away from the busy schedule of caring for family members, ensuring she makes time for a solitary walk, a massage, or a coffee or lunch with good friends. These are positive intentions and it means that in the event external pressures exert themselves, Jo can make the choice to reinstate her positive intentions, until they become good practice in self care. If we don’t look after ourselves how can we care for those we love?
Last night I realised a long held ambition to sing solo, with a choir, and in front of an audience. I sang the 2nd verse of Bruce Springsteen’s version of ‘Do I Love You, Indeed I Do’ and duetted the 3rd verse.
I have long harboured a desire to project my singing voice, and yet over the years my confidence and self esteem was so low that all hope of reaching my potential was persistently and surreptitiously eroded. However, as I continue to reconnect with my authentic self,
shed my chrysalis, open my wings to fly towards all those things I desire and deserve, my voice has found me. Since joining North Berwick Gospel Choir last August, every Wednesday since I have returned home buzzing with joy and vitality, and performing last night was equally fulfilling.
Yesterday I was wearing an old black cardigan and grey jumper combination, one of my cosy favourites, because the weather has been dull and cold, but I noticed the pilling (bobbling) was unsightly and so perhaps it was time to put these items to the back of my wardrobe or indeed a clothes bin. However, having watched this short information film, Fabric of Society , I found an old razor and spent a few satisfying minutes de-pilling my jumper and cardigan, falling in love with them all over again. A pair of jeans I bought from M+S a few weeks ago has separated at the waistband, but I am taking needle and thread to them instead of wasting time and money driving a 46 mile round trip to return them. I’m not accomplished at sewing, but I can thread a needle and administer a few essential stitches.
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During initial coaching training I was introduced to the GROW(TH) model; Goal, Reality, Options, What will you do? (Timed tactics and Habits for sustainability) which still has value today in some situations, but isn’t for everyone and in my experience, can occasionally get in the way of a productive and supportive coaching conversation.
A few months ago, a regular client struggling with their issue, inadvertently put me in a mentoring role, and because they were looking for a right or wrong answer, they would pause and stare at me, which can be quite uncomfortable online. I decided to go back to basics and reintroduced GROWTH to our sessions which coincided with our decision to use phone calls because of a poor internet connection. Suddenly, without the visual distraction, our conversation became rich and productive, and GROWTH gave me a framework to extend our dialogue.
Not one size fits all in coaching and being adept and intuitive, I adjust my approaches, using effective models according to my client’s needs.
With a few of my clients, the concept of goal setting has proven to be inhibitive. Goals and targets can inadvertently provoke a mindset of thinking we should do something. This can be counter-intuitive, because there can be a sense of wanting to fight against our own self imposed demands, whereas if we give ourselves options, and visualise how things could be, there is a greater chance of success.
I have found that when my clients set positive intentions, they are able to separate should from could, and furthermore visualise that an initial FAIL can lead to a First Attempt In Learning. Incorporating positive intentions generates a sense of empowerment, which leads to opportunities to achieve that which we desire and deserve.
What small changes can you make in life, which will lead you to where you really want to be? I can help with that, because I am an accredited personal and team coach, who is looking forward to hearing from you.
I am transitioning my email account to charli@catchinglightwellness.co.uk, but will continue to respond to emails sent to charliprime@gmail.com
Mobile remains the same: 07477 017717
These photos were taken in Perth 2 weeks ago when I attended a Truacanta network meeting. The bench is in the North Inch near Perth Rugby Club and says, “Give the Gift of Listening” something I am passionate about.
I will continue to support the work established by Truacanta, on a voluntary basis, and this week begin EASE facilitator training. We will be running EASE modules in the Autumn and I will let you know when that is happening.
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