Monday 15th May is the start of Mental Health Awareness Week.
Mental health can be affected by a wide range of issues and events and can be transitory or longer lasting. We all need a bit of help from time to time, but it can be difficult to reach out and ask when personal motivation is lacking.
I have been very open about the impact of events in my childhood which seriously affected my mental health, and sometimes when I reflect I can hardly see or remember the person I was. Last weekend while enjoying a glass of wine in the Volunteer Arms in Dunbar, I bumped into an old friend from a small village in Essex, whom I hadn’t seen for over 25 years. We both declared that we hadn’t changed, physically, hence the easy recognition, but her level of detail was so much greater than mine, because back then, I was living behind a veil of poor mental health. I paid careful attention as she recounted some of the antics we got up to on horseback, and slowly I recalled her house, her horse, and the open plains where we would allow our horses to gallop, always heading towards a wall or fence, so as to bring them back down to a safe trot.
There have been other occasions when a friend has remembered something in fine detail which I had forgotten, and I used to worry about memory loss, but the images return quite quickly, and with it the realisation that I was living my life in a state of trauma, a sense of looking at my life from a distance.
Those days are gone now, thankfully, and I know how to respond when faced with bad news from a friend or family member. I am fully present in my own life, the inner anxious voices have gone, and I take better care of myself by asking for help when life becomes a bit overwhelming.
During the pandemic, and especially lockdown, loneliness was identified as a significant factor towards an increase in poor mental health among the population. Closing workplaces and schools, restricting movement and being fearful of catching Coronavirus generated a peak in cases of poor mental health. Some of my clients are still feeling the effect of the various lockdowns and restrictions, but by offering a safe listening space, time, confidentiality and empathy we are able to work through issues and barriers which have become dominant. This is why coaching can be so powerful.
Here is feedback from one of my recent clients to the question: Did Charli generate a sense of safety and confidentiality?
Yes absolutely. Charli had previously shared the ethical code she adheres to, but she was also skilled in creating a safe, supportive, non-judgemental, confidential environment where it felt safe to share. TD
Coaching might not be the first step you need to take, social prescribing is accessible for anyone who has anxiety, low mood and poor mental health. Talk to your GP about what might be available, there are excellent organisations both locally, like Keep the Heid Cafe, and nationally such as Andy’s Man Club, Sporting Memories, Mens Sheds. Coaching with me, can help keep you on track as you continue your well-being journey.
For anyone with chronic poor mental health, or those who are suffering grief and bereavement, it is essential to seek medical attention through your GP, Mind, Samaritans call 116123; Cruse Bereavement, NHS Inform phone 111.
On Wednesday this week I completed part 2 of the EASE Facilitators course and I look forward to working with an experienced facilitator later in the year. I will use this platform and other social media outlets to promote how you can participate in EASE training. I hope eventually to take the programme into schools to open up conversations about death, dying, grief and bereavement. During the online facilitator’s course, I met some incredible people who have shown great resilience and determination with their own challenges, and now want to pay that back by offering online EASE training. I am doing this as a volunteer because I feel so passionately about it, and I know that my coaching training and background is ideally suited to holding the space, active listening, empathy and support.
Although it can feel slightly daunting, joining a club, choir, local organisation, or interest group can make a significant difference to building resilience and improving mental health. I popped into my local library last week to pick up hearing aid batteries, and I was so impressed at the array of local information for activities, as well as a ‘Warm Space’ which anybody can use, make a coffee, read a book and feel connected. I fully intend to make better use of my library card for Ebooks, Eaudiobooks, and gathering information about local groups and organisations.
Achieving a sense of Wellness can be mistaken for thinking there’s a requirement to join a gym and follow a certain diet, but if you start to incorporate the following:
Human Connection;
Learning;
Giving to Others;
Mindfulness and
Being Physically Active into your daily routine you are on the right track to improving your wellness, which is ‘a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity’ (WHO). ‘Well-being is simply judging life positively and feeling good’ (NHS).
We are hardwired for connection, and well-being begins when the first steps are taken to combat isolation. Learning something new, and giving to others are excellent ways of connecting with like minded people. I love watching the green jackets of the North Berwick in Bloomers congregating up and down the High St transforming what might have been a dull corner into a bright colourful welcoming feast for the eyes, all the while chatting and working together. Joining North Berwick Gospel choir boosted my confidence and connections in ways I couldn’t have imagined, as I now recognise familiar faces when shopping or walking my dog, and return a smile and a wave.
Keeping active stimulates all the chemicals needed to help shift low mood, and taking a few steps outside every day, gently increasing the distance, boosts mental and physical well-being. While you're outside, take a moment to appreciate your environment and try to centre yourself in the moment.
For anyone with chronic poor mental health, or those who are suffering grief and bereavement, it is essential to seek medical attention through your GP, Mind, Samaritans call 116123; Cruse Bereavement, NHS Inform phone 111.
While shifting 2 cubic metres of logs yesterday in the sunshine, two of my neighbours offered to help. I thanked them, and we chatted for a while, but I was enjoying listening to Desert Island Discs on BBC Sounds, and was happy to carry on alone. However, knowing that I had the option of support meant so much to me, and the short interlude we had was the level of connection I needed at that time. Perhaps the connection you need is closer to hand than you might think.
These pictures show an awesome sunset in Dunbar last Sunday and my hard labour yesterday!
Have a wonderful weekend.
Get in touch - use the comment form on my blog page, no need to sign in.
Email charli@catchinglightwellness.co.uk, (I will continue to respond to emails sent to charliprime@gmail.com for the next few weeks)
Mobile remains the same: 07477 017717
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