I learned the word prescience fairly recently which is ironic because I have learned to trust my instinct or tap into what I ‘just know’ might happen ever more as the years go by.
I learnt to my cost that it really isn’t worth ignoring that inner voice in my head at times. Too many times I have dawdled at home knowing I’m wasting time and then find I’ve missed the train for example. This happened most recently in December when I went to collect a hire van that was to be used to move the dismantled kitchen and dust and rubble from my holiday-let flat in Edinburgh.
Mistake 1: one look at the van told me it was too big. Not only too big for my needs that weekend but too big for my confidence as ‘white van lady’. I had asked for a smaller one but this was all that was left. I took it. I wasn’t going home but had arranged to meet two former pupils to see Hunger Games, Mockingjay Part2. I took my time on the A1 and was very proud of my ability to negotiate city roads, avoid buses and bicycles and arrive safely in town. I even managed to reverse park it without incident. I had a wonderful evening with two autistic boys and can honestly say I have never been so proud to be sitting between two handsome, 6ft tall young men who have overcome more personal battles than their appearance would bely.
I left them afterwards with their fathers, and headed back to my new wheels for the weekend. Feeling a little more confident I had another successful journey home.
Mistake 2: I drove into our driveway. Realising as soon as I had parked it by the front door that it might inhibit my neighbour’s ability to turn their car, I made the ridiculous decision to manoeuvre the beast.
I was tired, it was dark, a 20 point turn later and I managed to scrape the side of the van against the gate. That sinking feeling in my stomach has just come back to haunt me!
Of course, I paid up to the Hire company, admitted my responsibility and that was that.
BUT – I have learned that I absolutely have to listen to myself in future. I know I won’t always get it right but at least it might save me a couple of hundred pounds!
Prescience – a poem
I can’t find the words today.
It sometimes has to be this way.
Looking forward I know there will be
another chance for my poetry.
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